State of a Patience

How interesting it seems that when life is going swell, I lack the motivation to write. I suppose I am not alone in this boat; for what else compels other people to set down in pen their emotions and reactions but the less glamorous things in life--heartache, bitterness, disappointment... all those nasty lessons we have learned as we float along this meandering stream of consciousness that has the nerve to have such a succinct formation of letters: L I F E

I digress...

Although I am quite content as my life stands right now, a change looms ahead. It is a change that was planned and I thought inevitable, but with the slightest mention of the words, there exists an uncomfortable silence between us: the ones involved.

How those words, now permanently fixed on this page, make me queasy. And thought the sentiment is the same, how they apply to the people and situations that they belong to are ever so different.

In one situation, I can hope for the best... hope that you do not take this as an act of sabotage and betrayal. I feel that it would be best to keep some things separate in order to maintain the bond we have now.

In another, I hope that you can come to take me more seriously. Although years have kept us separated for some time, these are the moments where we will come of realize if this is a relationship worth keeping.

And finally, although we have spoken at length about what is to occur after this period of lending one another a hand and the possible outcomes for afterward... I am hesitant to bring it up again, although in the past few days it has come up inadvertently by circumstance. The hesitancy comes not from feelings of mistrust, but more of practicality. There has been nothing to make me think it would not be fine, but then it has not been long enough to really know.

I know I should confront these situations soon... but I still have some time to figure out how I feel about it and how exactly I want to proceed.