Slow your roll

Well, it has been a hell of a week.

I wonder when exactly it will happen? Will it be too late? With every moment that passes, without closure or some resolution, my resolve wanes. Logic starts to take over, and the heart is faint. The cynic that I try not to be reveals the silliness of my plans to forget the past, start fresh, want something from where right now, it is comfortably nothing... is it really comfortable? I haven't been able to sit inside my skin for quite some time now.

I don't really know what I want.
Some company would be nice.
Nothing has to be set in stone;
I've been treading on thin ice
to avoid the inevitable plunge.
I dive in, whatever the price.
What is waiting there for me?
c'mon, let's try it once, twice.

Keeping busy; going out every night, sleeping all day. I won't do this much longer. A new year is coming on, and I am about to celebrate my birthday. It's been such an interesting year--'cause time changes, love changes, and best friends become strangers--I think I have done some changing too. I can't really be sure if it's because I'm growing up or regressing. One thing is clear, it's not enough... I need more change.

And I don't know anymore if what I thought I felt so strongly about doing is actually a good idea. I've always been the type to go for what I think is worth it and to go about obtaining it with tenacity, but...

Time for me to slow my roll.

Or maybe I just think too much. My impulse control can be a pain in the ass sometimes.